Walking through Life

I took a walk today. Yes, I took a walk up my street by myself. How common. How usual. I see many people take walks daily. Most of the time I just drive by them while they are walking. Whether they are talking on the phone, listening to their iPod or just taking a moment for themselves, they all have something to think about. Sometimes they are walking alone, sometimes with a spouse or family member and occasionally with a friend. But the walk I went on by myself today ended with me walking away with things I have never thought about before and an image that will always be in my head. It was powerful. It was as if I was in a foreign place, a distant and new place where I would begin my walk down a new path. I forgot about the things I wanted to forget and I remembered the people and places close to me. The ironic part of all of this is that although I felt so close to the people and places I love, I wasn't with them. I couldn't hold onto them. It wasn't that I was letting them go but that they were letting me go instead. I was off on my own. The feeling wasn't sad or confused but one of peace and serenity and acceptance. I was alone, just myself and my faith and this image in my mind. I was in solitude, marveling at the sight of people speaking a different language to me, asking me for directions in my head. This internal situation was such an irony because although I could hear, I couldn't listen. It wasn't possible for me to understand or to respond because of their language or the looks on their face. I can't tell you which country or which language, but I do know it wasn't familiar. It was strange. It wasn't just my street at the time. It wasn't just this road, this paved road that I've walked up and down my whole life. It wasn't just the road of memories, my past, my childhood and my innocence. I was walking so blindly down the street that I have known forever. I have crawled, walked, ran and road my bike up this street, a million times over. This street would become something more significant, representing the a new and strange idea, the unknown,my future.

I think that after being in a domestic and familiar place for too long causes a desire for change. I was walking at a slow pace but I wanted to run. This is what my epiphany expressed. I realized that I am ready to move on. I am ready to leave behind and take with me what I choose. However, I know that I will always have my family, faith and my thoughts I take with me. Think about the time in your life where you had an epiphany, a life changing event or moment. Whether it was just a few seconds, minutes or longer, it caused a sudden realization. I walked up my street, with nothing but a Rosary in my pocket, gripped tightly in my hands. It was 8:45 pm on this warm June night. The intuitive grasp of new ideas, ideas that have never been contemplated over before in my life, but now has become an engagement, an enthrallment, a fascination. What exactly am I talking about? To be completely candid, I do not know. I have no simple answer for you. And I'm sure if I asked what your epiphany was, you wouldn't be able to tell me in one sentence. What is it that I realized? What is the idea that has changed my life? I am not sure. I do know that it was not concrete. In on way, it is that I am letting go of everything that holds me back. As I stated before, I am ready to move on to bigger and better things. I am moving closer to following my dreams. I am rejecting anything that puts limits or confines me. After all, we create our own limits. One of the overarching themes of my "Pop Culture Playground" blog is to be yourself. In another way, I know that what I am thinking is about my future, the person I am becoming. It seems normal, okay, to be confused. And the epiphany I just realized is causing me to debate whether or not it is making my identity more clear or more baffling. How confusing. Is it acceptable to want to always recreate yourself?

I am too dynamic to want to stay the same. I am and will always be in a constant state of evolution and change. I want to always walk down new and unknown paths because along them, truth about ourselves are learned. I have always been aware of my adoration and love for music, fashion, pop culture and the art but I have always thought of it as just hobbies. I never imagined that I would become a blogger. My passion for writing about these things that define me have led me to start writing my own blog. When I think about my future, I am unsure about it. Part of me wants to pursue writing but part of me wants to pursue musical business, a career in retail or actually in the music business. The walk was the first blog I mentioned because it shows that my life journey is undecided and it is up to only me to pave the way. Whether I turn to the right or to the left, my hand will always in my jeans pocket, holding on to my Rosary, my faith. I am at a stage in my life that has allowed me to become more independent. I am growing up. I will go off to college in 2 years and my entire life will change. The way I am describing it is so dramatic, and you are probably thinking that I am just confused. Perhaps I am. But isn't this just a part of growing up?